Eddy's Airport Review

While Nairobi slept I arrived at 2am To reassure any security fears, the staff dress up in berets and army fatigues to look more official and then pass you through predator style thermal imaging cameras to see if you are warm-blooded or carrying an infant xenomorph sent to review their airport. A 5-hour layover and zero hours sleep meant Nairobi went from being the jewel of Africa to the bed of Africa. A waiting room of people Laying on anything flat like lions sunning on a rock. Why book a hotel when a set of plastic metal chairs support your weight just as well. Several stages of security brings its own challenges, for example, when you "randomly check" everyone's bags at the gate, it's no longer random, but don't complain about, it will make it take twice as long. Security ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Chair comfiness ⭐⭐ Not being told to mov...

Arriving at Entebbe airport as early as a crack team of IDF special forces trying to get the jump on their target may seem like a good idea, but it can start to feel a little like an action movie. Roadblock (check) men with AK-47s and cigarettes hanging out their mouths (check), airport lounge guarded by a large wooden statue of a gorilla. Wait. What? But with all that said, nothing remotely interesting happened. But perhaps that's the best possible outcome for an airport, no smiley, greasy bullshit, no hassle at security, being bored means things are going right. Security ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Food ⭐⭐ Souvineer shops ⭐⭐⭐⭐

If Gatwick had a name it would be Gary. Gary is friendly and helpful, he'll tell you where the loos are, or give you the time, but Gary's probably still lives with his parents, not very impressive. Just like Gatwick. Convenient and small, everything's in one place, overpriced water, overpriced food, over priced WiFi. So send your messages, drink your water and eat your food before you come, because at least the toilets are free. Security ⭐⭐⭐ Food ⭐⭐⭐ Cleanliness ⭐⭐⭐

If purgatory is set in that awkward phase between the 80s and 90s then they tested the design on FLL.  Being ferried between terminals 3&4 is enough to make you want to go somewhere, anywhere, via purgatory. And if that isn't enough, the only thing defending your pristine Boeing 787 is a single TSA agent sat guarding an open door playing candy crush on his iPhone. On paper it has to be one of the worst. So why do I like it so much?  The sub 3 minute security line, the food; choice, but not too much choice, the simple interior, the medium quality instrumental jazz permanently on repeat, customs even apologised for making us wait to get our export forms signed. Can something that feels so right really be wrong? WiFi - free and unlimited Cleanliness ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐ Food ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Security ⭐⭐⭐ Jazz ⭐⭐⭐ 

Why leave the airport when you can let the sights come to you? It has bagels, it has hot dogs it has a cardboard cut out of the statue of liberty. Walking from gate to gate may feel like you're walking the length of Manhattan, but the scale gives you a new found appreciation for the invention of the escalator. No need to pass through security if you're transmitting. What do they care? You're leaving aren't you? WiFi - free and unlimited Cleanliness ⭐⭐⭐ Food ⭐⭐⭐⭐ Security ⭐⭐ 

What do you call an international airport that only fly's domestic? San Diego! With wonderful views of nothing, San Diego 'international' boasts a semi-permanent international departures building, why not have fun guessing if it will be open or not while sweating to see if you'll make it to your flight. Security is top notch too, I even got specially selected for a groin search after they detected an 'anomaly' WiFi - 90 minutes free Cleanliness ⭐⭐⭐ Food ⭐⭐ Security ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐